122. Trust Over Control: Relearning Prayer After the New Age

If you’ve ever tried to “manifest” your way into safety, money, or control, you know the crash that comes when life refuses to cooperate. I’m Danielle Venables, and I’m unpacking a tension I’ve wrestled with deeply since leaving the New Age: how do we pray boldly without turning God into a vending machine?

We talk about why manifestation culture trains us to treat spiritual power as a tool for comfort and self-serving desire, and why following Jesus flips that script into humility, trust, and surrender to God’s will. I walk through Matthew 7:7-11 (ask, seek, knock) and explain how pulling verses out of context can lead to a prosperity gospel mindset that sounds biblical but misses the heart of the gospel.

Then we get practical with prayer. Psalm 55:22 and Philippians 4:6-7 show God inviting us to bring every burden, every request, and every fear with thanksgiving, not anxiety. James 4:2-3 challenges our motives and helps us spot when we’re asking for something that would actually pull us away from God.

Finally, we sit with Jesus in Gethsemane and His honest prayer: “May this cup be taken from me, yet not as I will, but as you will.” That is the roadmap for asking bravely, suffering faithfully, and trusting God’s promises even when the answer is not what we wanted. If this helped you, subscribe, share it with someone leaving the New Age, and leave a review so more people can find it.

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Transcript

Welcome And The Core Tension

SPEAKER_00 0:40

Hello, and welcome to another episode of Counterculture Mama. I am your host, Danielle Venables, and today I want to talk about a topic that I have personally wrestled with a lot as it relates to coming out of New Age, entering into a relationship with God, a relationship with Jesus, and the role of prayer, right? So when I was in New Age, like one of the core, like foundational New Age beliefs is around manifestation, right? And that you create your reality and that essentially you're like entitled to comfort, to your desires, right? Like it's this whole culture around getting what you want, whether that's becoming a millionaire, manifesting money, having a successful business. Like it's all about like treating the universe like a vending machine, where it's like if you do the right inputs, then the output is success, or the output is a relationship, or the output is you know, a monetary amount. And coming out of that and coming back to Jesus, the immediate freedom was that it no longer was my will, right? It was the deliberate submission of my will and replacing that with God's will and and living my life in submission to like, what would you have me do? How do you want me to serve you, God, as opposed to how can I serve myself and use the universe as a tool to serve myself? And so coming out of that background, it left me really sort of deconstructing. There's a lot of deconstructing in general that has to happen, but you know, that difference between manifesting my will versus being in submission to the will of God, but then also balancing it with the scriptures that say that like God is a a good God and He does provide for us and He does bless us. And so, how do you approach that from a place of not taking it for granted or not seeing God as a vending machine the way that we treated the universe in New Age while still asking? And so I'm going to be pulling up a bunch of scriptures related to this and just going through like sort of a biblical view of like where is the balance between asking for our will and submitting to God's will. So I want to start off by tackling a wrong impression that a lot of people coming out of the new age who give their lives to Jesus maybe get wrong or maybe have hesitation about when again coming from that culture of manifestation and my will, right? That like self-defication of new age, and they come into submission to the Lord and they're like, okay, now what? Do I just not get anything I want? Am I even worthy of asking? You know, because there's we have to balance like the fact that God is so far beyond us, so much better than us, right? He is perfect, and technically we are unworthy to even be in his presence, to even approach him, right? And so there's this like humbling that has to take place, and we do need to know our place in response to his holiness, right? Like that humility is a really important part of the process. But at the same time, because he loved us so much, right? John 3.16 says, you know, for God so loved the world that he he gave us his one and only son. And so, you know, with that, it's like he does want a relationship with us. So even though we're sinners, even though we're unworthy, even though we always fall short and we always mess up and we are just sinners, God has quite literally raised the dead so that we could have a relationship with him. That is his will, that is his desire, and that is ultimately for his glory. And so it's important to balance those realities, right? And responding to his holiness does mean that we don't approach him feeling entitled. We don't approach him, you know, saying, give me this because I deserve it. Because we don't, and that's okay. I'll never forget a time in the new age when I was working with a mentor and we were working to manifest something in my business. And I, you know, I was launching, I was trying to manifest a certain result, getting a certain number of people into my program, making a certain money benchmark. I can't even remember what it was, honestly, but it was something in my business. And the launch period came and went, and it came to a close, and I did not get the result I wanted. And we had been working at that point for months together, and she was like, you know what, I don't know why it didn't come in. And she's like, you know, it's okay to be angry, like get angry, get mad at God, like it's okay. And you know, I I had a pity party, but there was a part of me that felt like really off about getting mad at God, right? Like I felt like a child having a temper tantrum, and there was something just inside of me that was like, uh maybe that's not, maybe that's not the way to go, right? But that just gives like a little bit of insight into the way that the new age views God or the universe or source or you know, whatever you want to call it. Like that really is the relationship that you have with these spiritual powers when you don't get what you want. And so we need to like really balance that where we're not feeling entitled and we are in submission to God and his will above ours. And you know, I I like to approach it. I heard this somewhere, I can't even remember who first said it, but it was like even if you never did another thing for me, you have already done enough, right? And that's referring to sending Jesus to live a perfect life, to die for our sins, so that we can be redeemed and spend eternity with God. You can imagine, if you're a parent, you can imagine like sending your child to the most cruel form of death that that exists, arguably, in order to save like everybody else, like sacrificing, even though you you, you know, you're God and you have the power to resurrect and you know the plan and and and you know what you're gonna do, but it's like even just sending your son to that cross would be such a huge sacrifice. And so he has shown us how much he loves us, cares about us, wants a relationship with us, but that does not make us entitled. It doesn't make us special, you know, we're special because God said so, not because we think that we're owed something, and that's a really important distinction to make. Like we're only special because God placed value on us and God took action to be in relationship with us. That's what makes us special. It's not because we're inherently special, it's because God assigned that value to us. And so like I said, there's like this awkward juggling or balance of figuring out, like, okay, so what can I ask for and what can I not? And what can I expect of God and what can I not? And I want to kind of talk about that and get into some scripture about that because I feel like we can take Bible verses and we can put them, we can use them to like justify, you know. This is actually one that I've seen. I'm gonna I'm gonna read one here in Matthew 7 that I have actually seen used in the New Age. And it that is, it starts at Matthew 7:7, ask and it will be given to you, seek and you will find, knock, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened. So if you just like take that out of context of the entire Bible, of the entire message of the gospel, like New Age tends to do, then what you end up with is essentially heresy. It is using the Bible to justify acting like a spoiled brat and feeling like, okay, God is my vending machine, and I can do whatever I want, and it justifies manifestation because all I have to do is ask, and I can act like the spoiled daughter, and God is just gonna give me everything. And that is such a misrepresentation of the entire Bible, right? That's why it's so important to get into the word and to really understand the the different facets of the gospel, of God's character. But there is truth in this, in that, well, A, it's it's literally in in the gospel, but also there's truth in it in that God has decided again that He wants that relationship with us. I'm gonna keep going here with verse nine because it does talk about the character of God, which paints a really good picture for some of you that are maybe in new age, that are maybe hesitant because you've had bad experiences with Christianity, or you're you're not sure, or you see, you know, Christians being suppressed. That was a big one that I carried. So, like, you know, you think, oh, they're suppressed or they're whatever. It's like, I'm gonna keep reading. So it says, which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone, or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake. If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him? And so again, this is pointing to God's perfect character. This is pointing to how loving he is. And there are many, many attributes to God. Loving is not the only attribute, and so it's really important to remember that. But he is loving, he does answer prayers, he does hear prayers, and he does gift us with deliverance from suffering, he does gift us with financial blessings, he does gift us with opportunities, and you know, he he puts us exactly where he needs us to be for his glory. And sometimes that looks like massive outpourings of blessings, and other times it looks like suffering. We can go back into the book of Genesis where Joseph gets sold into slavery, and at the time that looks like crazy affliction, right? And it is crazy affliction. He gets sold into slavery and then he ends up a prisoner, and eventually he works his way up in with the Pharaoh, and then in the end, he ends up in a position to save the rest of Israel from the famine. And so again, it's like God will use us in affliction and he will use us in blessing, and it's both end. It's not you know, God's a vending machine, and you can use him to only get blessings. It's it's God's will over ours, and he always has a plan of redemption and he always has a plan for our lives. And when we can submit to that, you know, really unexpected things can happen. But it's it's also important to remember that he is a good God and he does have a good plan, and he is loving, and he does want to bless us. So the next one is just about feeling like this is a really common one in in Christianity when you sort of give up and you're like, okay, God's will over mine, and and whatever, it's really easy to start to feel like I shouldn't ask for this, especially coming from that manifestation background, right? It's like I shouldn't ask for this or I shouldn't want this, or it's not that bad. I can I can suffer through it, whether that's financial hardship, whether that is your health, whether it's something else. And again, I just explained that suffering is part of life, and that, you know, God puts us exactly where he needs us to be. And what is also true is that he invites us to pray to him. He invites us to ask. And I'm gonna read some scripture that backs that up and shows you that, like, no, it's okay to ask. And the distinction that I want to make with this when we're talking about prayer is that like you can pray for whatever you want. And if you do it in good faith and you do it with a genuine and open heart, and and you do it from a place of like, this isn't going to make or break my faith. And that's like the the biggest distinction I think that we really need to hone in and focus on when we're coming from manifestation or even prosperity gospel teachings and moving into like a biblical worldview is like I'm going to approach, I'm going to ask. No prayer is too small, no request is too small, but it's not going to affect how I feel about God. I'm going to praise him anyway because I know that his will for my life is so much bigger than mine. And I trust him and I respect him and I love and adore him, and I'm going to praise him even when I'm afflicted, because again, I know that he has the bigger plan and I'm putting my faith in that. So Psalm 55, 22 says, Cast your burden on the Lord and he will sustain you. He will never permit the righteous to be moved. And then we're going to go into Philippians 4, I believe. Yes. Philippians 4, verse 6 and 7 says, Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. These are two examples, Old Testament and New Testament, of where God is like, Yes, come to me. Cast your burdens on me. Ask me for what you want. Ask me for what you need. And, you know, do it. I I love Paul's words here by prayer and petition with thanksgiving. It's like, give thanks to him anyway. Give thanks for the fact that you're even here asking the question. And present your request to God. It's okay to ask for deliverance. It's okay to ask for your burdens to be lifted. It's okay to ask for blessings. And at the same time, like I was saying before, do not let that impact whether or not you have faith, whether or not you praise God, and whether or not you believe he's a good God. Like we need to know his character through and through and know that his plan is always better than our plan. But we can still ask. And that is biblical and okay. So much so that James 4 2 says, You desire, but you do not have, so you kill. You covet, but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God. So this is a really important scripture to remember that if you want something, you need to ask for it. God isn't just going to sit there and bless you if you do not have the faith and the devotion to ask for what you want. But what we're doing here is when we're asking for it, we're asking with an open hand. We're not gripping onto my faith depends on you delivering this promise or you sorry, you delivering this request. It's not even a promise. God always delivers on his promises. But our faith does not depend on an answered prayer. It actually goes on to say, when you ask, you do not receive because you ask with wrong motives that you may spend what you get on your pleasures. And so it does actually tell us right then and there that if we are asking for things that are self-serving, that are not to glorify the Lord, that if it's not God's will, He's He's not going to give it to you because it's not going to actually benefit the kingdom and it's actually not going to even benefit you in terms of your spiritual development. If you're asking for something from a selfish place, such as we so often do in the new age with manifestation, all that that's doing, you know, if you're trying to manifest becoming a millionaire, if you're trying to manifest a certain money amount, if you're trying to manifest a certain amount of fame or fortune or whatever it is that we so often see leaders in the new age space doing, you know, the the Bible actually says, like, don't store up treasures for yourself on earth, but store up treasures in heaven. And that means doing kingdom work. That means doing things that make heaven crowded, so to speak, right? So he's not just going to give you things solely because you want them for selfish intentions. It's if he sees that, okay, blessing you with this money is going to allow you to reach more people, it's going to allow you to serve in a different way, it's going to give you the opportunity to go on a mission trip or do something for the glory of God. That prayer is more likely to be answered than one that's like, I want a million dollars just because I want a million dollars. Because that's actually going to take you further from the Lord and further from the point of the gospel and further from dependence on God, which ultimately is what gets you into heaven. There's a part in the gospel where Jesus says it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to get into heaven. And so he's not going to answer prayers for selfish intentions that'll make it harder for you to go to heaven if your heart posture isn't already in the right place. But that's not to say that as a Christian, you have to be broke and you have to struggle. You know, ministries get to be well funded. And people who are doing God's work get provided the resources that they need to reach the people that they need if they're doing kingdom work, right? So it's all about like where is your heart at and who are you serving? Are you serving God or are you serving money? And the Bible also says, like, you can't serve two masters. And so it's really a choice of like, am I serving myself and my own selfish ambitions and my own selfish desires that are going to take me farther away from God? Or am I serving a bigger picture of wanting to really make an impact and really spread the gospel and really show people the love of Christ? And that will impact the way that those prayers get answered. And for some of you, that's great news because your hearts are in the right place. And for others, that might be tough to hear because you've been in the new age and you have been self-serving. And maybe there's a part of you right now that's coming under conviction where you're like, oh, oh, maybe I'm missing the mark. Maybe I've been reverse discipled away from closeness with God and away from that relationship with God that I've been seeking. And I know because I was one that so many of you in the new age are seeking a relationship with God, a relationship with source, a relationship with the truth. And so hearing things like that can be a little bit confronting. And I'm not, I'm not saying that from a place of condemnation. I'm just pointing it out because again, I've been where you are. And when you have those awakenings and those realizations, it allows you to really look inside your heart and decide how have I been showing up? And is this how I want to continue to show up? Or is it time to come under conviction, submit to God, and you know, start to follow Him? And again, that doesn't mean giving up on everything you've ever wanted. What it does mean is analyzing like where you're at, where you're in. Intentions are what is driving you to do the things that you do and to ask for the things that you ask for, and oftentimes shifting the heart posture of that, right? So I'm gonna I'm gonna hammer this home with one last verse. You know, a lot of what I've quoted here, both formally and informally, in this episode, have been red letter words straight from Jesus in the Bible. But this one is like really special to me because when you walk a Christian life, you do start to feel like, okay, maybe my desires aren't that important. Maybe my prayers are too small. Maybe I'm not worthy of even asking. Like, who am I to even ask for deliverance from pain and suffering, or to even ask for that blessing that I would really like, or that job, or that promotion, or that house, or or whatever it is, right? That's a really common thing when we do humble ourselves and we fall into submission to the Lord. That's such a common feeling to come up against. And I know I certainly have. I know a lot of my, you know, brothers and sisters in Christ, especially the women, because that's who I spend the most time talking to, they all wrestle with this at one point or another and sometimes ongoing, right? It's like when when you find that that freedom of like, oh, it's not all about me. Sometimes that that gets taken too far, and it's not like counterbalanced with again, knowing that you have a loving God who gives good gifts to his children. So this one hits, I want to say a little harder, but it hits a lot harder. This goes straight into right before Jesus was betrayed. He knew that he was going to be crucified, which again is the most brutal and painful and torturous death that you could possibly imagine. So this is in Matthew 26, and he is in Gethsemane, and he goes over and he prays. And again, like he knows that it's coming, he knows he's about to be arrested, he knows this is the end of his physical, you know, pre-resurrection life on earth. And verse 39, he prays, My father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will. And I just I get emotional even like thinking about that that verse because like literally everything that happens after that, but this is the clearest example of how to walk in submission to the Lord and his will in your life, and also how to ask, how to just ask, even if you know that maybe God has you in a place of suffering for a reason. And maybe you've accepted that, but like still ask, right? Like he already knows what's on your heart, he already knows that you wish you weren't going through that hard time, that you wish you weren't struggling financially, that you wish your work marriage wasn't struggling, that you wish, you know, whatever's going on, he knows, he already knows that you feel that way. And so why not be honest with him? Why not bring it to him and say, God, I know you're so good. And again, in Philippians 4, it says, like, and he will give you a peace that surpasses all understanding. And I I truly believe that that is what Jesus was relying on, even though he was fully God and fully man, he was living a human experience, he was walking in human suffering, and he knew what was coming because he's God, and he said, like, take may this cup be taken from me, the cup of suffering, the cup of God's wrath. Like, please, if if there's any other way, like, take that from me. And so yes, he knew it was gonna happen anyway. And you could argue that he was having a human moment, but I think more than anything, he was showing us that like when you're struggling, it's okay to ask, it's okay, like please do cry out to God. Please do. That is what a faithful follower of Jesus, that is what a faithful servant of God does. They call out to God, even if they know that there's a possibility and a very real possibility that God's will isn't to change the circumstance. What that does, what that prayer does, is not only does it remind you that God's got you, you know, when you pray that prayer, you are placing your reliance on God. And that is a beautiful thing. But it is also giving you what only God can give you, which is the peace that surpasses all understanding. And I really feel like that last prayer, he knew that his circumstances weren't gonna change. Like I said, he's fully God, he knows that his circumstances aren't gonna change. He knows that that cup of suffering and of God's wrath, that that is that is his, that he's taking on and he's doing it willingly for us, which is a whole other podcast episode about how amazing our God is, how amazing Jesus' sacrifice for us is. And God's will honestly is greater in the in the grand scheme of things, in the big picture of things, God's will is so much greater. This man, this godman, went on, conquered the grave, and redeemed us all. So, of course, God's plan is greater than Jesus' day of intense suffering. And he shows us that you can be real about where you're at, you can be real about what you're feeling, and then he once again demonstrates submission, yet not as I will, but as you will. So we can pray. We don't need to write it off as God's not gonna answer this prayer, or God handed me the suffering for a reason, or God handed me this suffering as punishment, or I'm not worthy of being delivered from this. We don't get to make that decision. God does. The decision that we get to make is am I gonna bring this to God because I bring everything to God, because I run everything through him, because I quite literally have been saved by him, by Jesus' sacrifice, so that I can have a father-daughter or father-son relationship with the living God. He sacrificed his son so that we could have a relationship with him. And part of that relationship is asking for our needs, asking for our requests, even if they don't all happen, even if he doesn't always answer in the way that we hope that he will answer, or in the way that would alleviate our suffering the fastest. It's having that relationship. That's what he wants from us. So, of course, we're going to pray, but we're not going to disrespect him and treat him like a vending machine, like the prosperity gospel or like the new age treats him. Because that's quite simply not the fullness of the word of God. It's not the fullness of the gospel. So I hope that this episode sort of sheds some light into like a very complicated and nuanced conversation. And I feel like there's a lot of that. There's a lot of stuff that I didn't understand coming out of New Age. And even when I, you know, was raised Catholic and stuff, you hear the teachings, but you don't always fully understand this like tension that exists between the two things, right? It's not all prosperity, it's not all blessings. Paul over and over again writes about his suffering, but I'm gonna praise God anyway, right? And so, like, that is a part of it. There, Jesus warned us before the crucifixion that Christians would be persecuted. And so, you know, my my church did a sermon on the end times, and I've really been sitting for the last few days of with like, oh my gosh, like on one hand, I'm like, my heart is breaking at the thought that we could be persecuted, that my kids could be harmed, that we could lose, you know, our house or our possession. Right, like there, there's so many factors of like, oh my gosh, that's so scary. And like there's fear and there's anxiety that comes up with that. And I was journaling this morning and praying, and I was like, God, like please help me to loosen my grip on that because my eyes are on you. My eyes are on eternity. And I know that any suffering is for your will. And, you know, the suffering that is prophesied for the end times, it is temporary. You promise through Jesus, He promises that that suffering will be limited, that it will be temporary, and that it'll all be worth it in the end because we will get to live in glory. And so I had to wrestle, my my human self had to wrestle with like, you know, repenting for for feeling that attachment or feeling that resistance of like, God, please don't take away my blessings. Like, I'm so grateful for my blessings, but I'm also so grateful, even if you take them away, but please don't take them away because I love them. You know, I'm looking at my children while I'm journaling and I'm like, I love them, God. Like, please don't take them away. But then it's like eyes on eternity, right? And and that's the polarity of living a life in submission to Christ. And it's like, of course, I'm gonna pray for my kids. Of course, I'm gonna pray for their health and their safety. I'm gonna pray for my husband, I'm gonna pray for our marriage, I'm gonna pray for all of the things that I love in this life. And at the same time, when God makes the decision to take those away in one way or another, I will be praying for peace. Even if my prayer of keep my family safe starts to feel like it's not being answered, I have to prepare myself for the eternal promise and know that God never fails on his promises. He has shown that through the entire Bible. He is good, he is faithful, and we can trust in that because he has never broken a promise to us. But it's it's hard. It's hard. I'm not I'm not gonna sit here and lie to you and be like, yeah, no, it's it's so easy. Like, just have faith in God. Like it's a very human thing. It touches the deepest parts, knowing that you could suffer, knowing that you could be hurt. Like that's gonna bring up all of those human emotions. It doesn't justify us feeling righteous in in front of God, right? Like we still need to know our place. We still need to know his place in our lives and and keep our eyes on that. But at the same time, it's a real duality that that we have to hold, and it's a real tension that we have to hold. And we have to keep our our faith and our trust on eternity. We have to place our faith in a God who never breaks a promise and just just do the best we can and not take anything for granted at any time, but be prepared to triumph in God's name and to potentially suffer in God's name and be persecuted in God's name. That is a very real thing that the Bible does warn us about. So that is getting a little bit off track from the point of this podcast episode in particular, but I just wanted to relate it to like where I'm at in my walk and my journey, because I know that so many of you have been following along with me leaving New Age and getting a lot of things wrong in that messy in-between, and probably still honestly getting a lot of things wrong, because that's that's being a human and you know, growing in faith and and growing in our walk. But that's that's where this has applied to me. It's like I'm I'm praying and I'm praying, and I'm like, but your will be done, but also like please keep my family safe, right? Like it's like it's like that balance, and it's the same that we see here. And I think that's why this gives me so much comfort. Is like, my father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me, but your will be done. And it's both. It's both. We get to be really honest in prayer, but we also ultimately submit to the authority and the sovereignty and our faith in God that he will deliver on his promises because he always does. So that's what I've got for you this week. I hope that this episode blessed you in some way. Please feel free to reach out on Instagram, on Facebook, wherever you find me online. If you have any feedback or want to have a conversation, I am always happy to walk with you in mentorship, not as a paid thing, by the way. I am not currently coaching or anything like that. Anything that I'm doing for the glory of God is 100% just support and helping you find the answers that you're looking for, have the conversations that you need to have, ask the questions that you need to ask, especially if you're leaving New Age. I've probably asked the same questions. I've probably had to find the answers, and I am more than happy to send you resources, send you insights, and just have that conversation with you. So I hope you have an amazing week ahead. I will be praying for all of you, and I will talk to you next week.