117. Why I Left The New Age

I didn’t leave the New Age because it stopped being popular, I left because I couldn’t ignore what it was producing in me. I had built a business and identity around manifestation, alignment, and “trusting the universe,” and walking away meant losing money, credibility, and the brand I spent years building. From the outside, a New Age to Jesus story can look like a sudden switch, but the internal process is messy, costly, and deeply personal.

I unpack the turning points that made me question everything: the way New Age talks about surrender while quietly training you to control outcomes, the strange emptiness that can follow even when manifestation “works,” and why chasing constant upgrades can turn into always seeking and never arriving. I also share how my gratitude changed after giving my life to Jesus and how purpose started to look less like chasing the next win and more like showing up as His hands and feet in ordinary life.

Then we go into the real world fruit. I break down the dark side of “act as if” and “leap before you’re ready,” especially in abundance and quantum leap culture, where impulsive spending and poor stewardship can get packaged as faith. Finally, I talk about the most painful red flag: New Age spirituality couldn’t save my marriage, and it forced me to ask whether a self focused spiritual framework can ever produce sacrificial covenantal love. If you’re searching for spiritual discernment, biblical truth, and clarity on the New Age to Christianity pipeline, this conversation is for you.

If this resonated, subscribe, share it with a friend who’s questioning New Age beliefs, and leave a review telling me what part hit you hardest.

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Transcript

Why Leaving New Age Was Hard

SPEAKER_00 0:41

Hello and welcome to another episode of the Counterculture Mama podcast. I am your host, Danielle Venables, and today's topic had me reflecting just on why exactly I left New Age. Um, what prompted that? I mean, it's so easy for me to say, like in my testimony and stuff, that I just got pulled away. I just got called home, right? And that part that is true. Um, that's like a very significant part of the story. That's obviously what prompted it. Because I had everything to lose when I came home to Jesus, right? Like when I was saved, I had everything to lose. I had a business, I had a reputation, I had a website and branding, and I was known and making money on these new age concepts. And I had spent years investing in that both financially and with my time. Um so it can seem really sudden, but what I want to start with is like that didn't come lightly, and I resisted it, I fought it, I was like, you know, maybe another time, but now's not the time. Um as I started to like hear that call to explore and to really develop a relationship with Jesus, like I was resisting it and I was fighting it every step of the way. And I think that's like the important place to start because I think a lot of people see like this trend in the online space of New Age to Jesus, um, different new age practitioners and healers and psychics that maybe you've been following for years and years and years, and all of a sudden, um, it's like a switch turns and they're renouncing all of their beliefs. It's like a 180. I remember watching a few people go through that. Um, Doreen Virtue is one of them, of course. And it just seems so sudden, and it almost seems like unembodied, or we can like create these stories of like, oh, they were just doing it wrong, or you know, whatever. And I really want to like speak to some of those things because these are often people. I mean, whether or not you know every single one of them personally, at some point, somebody that you know is gonna have a testimony like that, and I want to equip you with the understanding of like what gets them there, or what causes that, or you know, what's going on in their internal worlds as they're going through this transformation, and I can assure you it's not because the money's better. In fact, a lot of people um walk away from their businesses completely, or at the very least, they have to burn it all down and start over, um, and serve in different ways and serve in more like biblically grounded ways. So it's definitely not for the money. Um and so, like, what what benefit would it really be aside from a legitimate spiritual transformation that is rooted in the truth? Like, there would not be droves and droves of people going through this conversion if there wasn't a degree of truth there. So I just want you to, I want to invite you to open your mind and to really just like adventure with me through some of the points that I came up with in my process. Um so the first point that I have is that New Age taught surrender, but it was never true surrender. And this is something I didn't know until I looked back with hindsight, right? Like in New Age, surrender means like do the inner work, take the aligned action, regulate your energy, remove the blocks, trust the universe, and then poof, let go of the outcome, right? But the entire time that you let go of the outcome, it's like, oh, did I do enough? Or maybe I'm blocking myself, or if the manifestation doesn't come in, then oh, I must be blocked. I must have to go back to work and then ask again and manifest again, right? It's it's not true surrender. Um, it's like this counterfeit of surrender, like it still depends on you and your frequency and your alignment, your choices, your timing, and your ability to receive the thing that you say you want, right? So I thought I was learning to surrender, but really I was learning a more spiritualized form of control. And true surrender isn't manifesting, aligning, and then hoping the universe meets you where you want to be, right? Um, true surrender is laying down your will before God and trusting him, even if the outcome looks nothing like you were expecting it to be. It's this like surrender of like, I know that God's got me, I know that he's got this divine plan for my life, and that I'm playing a bigger part. It's not all about me. I'm playing a bigger part, not only in my own, you know, forging, which he definitely does, um, you know, he will put you through circumstances and things that forge you into the person, the leader that you're meant to be, um, for his purposes, but also um just sometimes sometimes the blessings just aren't what you expect them to be. And ultimately, like as Christians, we are called to um accumulate our blessings in heaven, not on earth. Um, the second one is that manifestation did work, it did give results sometimes. And when it would work and when things would go um the way that you hope, and you would call in the thing, and you know, you would sell out a launch or you would call in some money out of nowhere, you know, those things kind of feel magical in the sense of like, wow, like I really did that. Like, you know, again, like all the credit to me. I my energy was right, I I released the blocks, I healed, I whatever, and like it came in and look at me go. Um, but at the end of the day, like when you would get those things, or at least when I would get those things, it would still feel kind of empty. Like it would just be like okay, that's it. Or like what what's next? Right? Like it would just it would just always feel kind of flat, even when it felt like a win, or even when you were riding a high off of, you know, calling in something big, it would still just feel like, huh. Um so you know, I used to say, well, it it works, like I manifested the thing, or I got the abundance, or I got the the relationship, or the opportunity, or or the money. Um and even when it worked, it didn't satisfy. When I thought that I got what I wanted, it still didn't feel like replenishing, it felt momentarily validating, but it there was no deep fulfillment there. Um and so like I would find I would feel grateful for the result, um but it didn't touch it deeply, like it it didn't touch the deeper parts of like wow, this is really, really fulfilling. Um and so there was just always like this emptiness. And so when I gave my life to Jesus, the gratitude stopped being about finally getting what I asked for. In fact, um I I think in every season since I've given my life to Jesus this past summer, it's all been um getting more of what I need in this season and being like, okay, God, like I I trust you. And I, you know, I will bloom where I'm planted, I will do kingdom work, where I'm at, where you put me, and I'm gonna trust that you put me somewhere for a reason. Um but my gratitude was still so much deeper and so much more deeply fulfilling. It was genuinely like grateful for life itself, grateful for the sacrifice and the grace that he gives us, grateful for being held by God whether or not I get the outcome I wanted. And even like this past week, um, you know, I work in a job now where I um I deal with a lot of really sad stories. I deal with a lot of people who are like falling through the cracks of the system, and they come to me and they ask me to help them navigate these systems and get them the help they need, whether that's medical or um, you know, whatever whatever other government services they need. Um basically they've exhausted everything. Oftentimes they have nothing. Um and they come to me for help. And those types of things, like they they wear on you, but at the same time, like God has presented me in this past week with so many opportunities to just go that extra, not even that extra mile, to go that extra inch, and to really get creative and and find ways that I can help people not only within my role, but outside of my role. Um, and I'm not gonna talk about those things because the actions don't matter. Um, but it's just like I could go to work and you know, serve in the capacity that I get paid to serve, and shut it off after that and just call it good. Or I could say, okay, I see a person in need. God is placing this person in my life through my job, and like while maintaining professional boundaries, of course, but you know, there's always that extra little something that you can do for somebody that shows them that you care, that shows them like it that they're not alone in this world. And he has presented me with it's gonna make me cry, but he's presented me with so many of those opportunities in this past week to like really um have a heart like Jesus and to um show up and be his hands and feet, and um that is so much more fulfilling than anything I was doing in my business, than any amount of money I was bringing in, than the money wins that my clients were getting, um, than the like healing work where people were always like coming back for more, even though I was trying to like get them to a place where it's like they could stand on their own two feet and they could, you know, move forward really powerfully. And um I I found it always it always led to dependence. I would watch those clients either come back over and over again, or I would watch them, you know, still overinvesting, overextending, um, you know, hiring a hundred coaches at a time. Like it was just like always striving. And um there's there's a simplicity to the grace that I live in now. Um and and breaking free from like that always seeking and never arriving type of spirituality. Uh the third point is the dark side of act as if or leap before you're ready. Um especially for women in the healing, feminine energy, abundance, embodiment, quantum leap type spaces. You know what I'm talking about if you've been in New Age. Um this is not just like a spiritual critique. This is like a real world, like fruit of the beliefs of New Age. Um, it's poor stewardship, it's impulsive spending, it's financial overexertion, um magical thinking around money that's not rooted in reality. And that's like literally what they teach is like your reality is not your reality. So make your reality and and act as if you already have it and and be the person that you need to be to call it in, right? Um and then moral compromise when you have to make the leap to pay it off. So then you get yourself in these situations where you hire the big coach or you, you know, invest in yourself or whatever, and then you're in a pickle and you need to get that money back, you need to make that money, and you so then you start to bend boundaries. And when you bend that boundary once, or when you do something, you know, you follow the advice that the coach gave you that you're kind of like, I don't know about that, that doesn't feel great. But in order for it to work, quote unquote, you have to follow the instructions, and if you're not following the instructions, then you only have yourself to blame for it not working, like that whole thing causes you to um fall out of alignment and to to do things that are out of integrity with your soul, um, and that starts to dull your conscience. And it's obviously important here to look at um personal accountability, right? Um, there is a degree of like, yeah, you made ultimately you made the choice, ultimately you decided to pay the coach or the mentor or or the healer or whoever you're working with. Um and and personal accountability is really important there. And I take full accountability for the decisions that I made. But at the same time, when a certain ideology is like discipling people towards those things, and it starts to normalize that it's okay to take the leap, it's okay to overextend yourself, it's okay to whatever, and that becomes the culture that is normalized or even glorified. Like financial recklessness is disguised as like this language of like faith, abundance, and embodiment, and that's not it. Um, and so to tap into abundance, you shouldn't have to overextend yourself, you shouldn't have to be impulsive, and you shouldn't have to like gaslight yourself or lie to yourself of like, well, I'm I'm a millionaire or I'm becoming a millionaire, so I'm gonna invest like a millionaire. That's honestly bullshit. Um where the Bible, in contrast, teaches us stewardship, contentment with where you're at, patience, trusting God's timing, relying on provision from God, um, maintaining integrity over your image, over your selfish desires, even over your immediate needs. Um, we are taught to trust God even through our affliction. Um, and so that leads to like any blessings that come in, they're blessings without manipulation. You're not calling a part of your soul to receive those blessings. And 1 Timothy 6 10 says, for the love of money is a root of all kinds of evils. And it's not saying money is the root of all evil, it's not saying that you can't have money and spend money and invest money. Um, but the dark side of act as if is evil. Like it really is. It's like it puts you in a position where you have to make decisions you wouldn't ordinarily make in order to um call in money or make money. Um, and so it really like ruins financial discernment, which is should be a huge red flag. Um next one, and I'll end off with this one, and this is like a deeply personal one for me, but new age couldn't save my marriage. And um, this is something that New Age had led me to, it had discipled me. And again, so when you're following ideology, and that ideology is encouraging you to leap, to trust, to basically ignore your existing reality in order to manifest the reality that you desire, um it leads to all kinds of selfish decisions. It leads to, it disciples you into, again, I take accountability for my actions within that. Um, but when the ideology that you're subscribed to is basically teaching you that your desires are the most important thing, that you are so powerful that you can manifest anything, um, and you just have to believe in yourself enough and all of that, right? Like that, it's easy to see how when when that's your world, when that's what you're like soaked, soaking in, um, you know, with the people you're surrounding yourself with, with the accounts you're following on social media, all those kinds of things. It leads you to make decisions that also dishonor the other person. And that's where I was at. I I believed that I could do it, I believed that I could be successful, and I was, you know, following what a lot of these New Age teachers are, you know, teaching about manifestation and wealth and success and all these things, and it brought my marriage to a very, very challenging place. Um at some point I had to face the fact that New Age couldn't save my marriage. Um, it got me into that mess. I worked so hard, I read every like personal development type book to try to um, you know, rectify that in the new age space, and none of it could save my marriage. And I think it's also very telling when you look around at the new age space how many people aren't married, how many people can't seem to keep a healthy relationship, even though they talk about the masculine, feminine polarity and all this stuff and the divine masculine and this nut, and it all sounds really good, but at the end of the day, a lot of those relationships either don't exist or are in ruin. Um, and there's often a lot of drama around those relationships, too. And that's not me throwing shade, that's me observing the the people and the spaces that I was in. Um and then, you know, oftentimes these people end up in relationships and then they finally heal through the relationships, and then a lot of them end up having a testimony like mine. So I think that's really interesting as well. Um, but it it forced me seeing my marriage in the state that it was in and knowing how good it could be and how good we had been in the past, you know, I refused to give up on that. And when nothing I was trying, nothing I was manifesting, nothing I was learning in the new age space was helping that, it forced me to ask a deeper question of like, if this path is so enlightened and so healing and so liberating, why was it shaping me into someone less capable of sacrificial covenantal love? The version of me being discipled by new age ideology was becoming more self-focused, more desire-led, more self-protected, and less rooted in the kind of humility, forgiveness, sacrifice, and covenant. And I'm gonna define that word in a second here, that marriage actually requires. And so a lot of you know, new age is you know, you do wrong to me, well then like kind of screw you kind of thing, right? Like it's like it's me, me, me, it's me focused. And so um that becomes like when someone commits an offense against you, which is going to happen in a relationship. Um it causes you to withdraw, it causes you to um, you know, retaliate, it causes you to even even when you're trying to communicate, because I did that, I I tr I probably over-communicated again based on new age teachings, but um it uh it all led nowhere than other than harm. And um when when you look at marriage as a covenant, which is what the Bible outlines, which is what God's design for marriage is, what a covenant is, is it's between you and your husband and God. And as you draw closer to God, as you aim to please God by honoring your spouse, so it's no longer about, you know, did they offend me, did I offend them, well, you know, they're being shitty, so then I'm gonna be shitty, pardon my language. Um, but in instead of that like contractual type thing, which is how society treat treats marriage, right? They treat it like a contract between two people, and if you uphold your side, then I'll uphold my side, and if not, then it falls apart. Um God's design for marriage is a covenant, and so with God in there, then what that means is that each spouse has to answer for their actions and their decisions and the way that they show up or don't show up in their marriage, they have to answer to God for that. And so when you're standing in front of God and you're saying, Well, I did this and this and this and this, they're not God isn't gonna care how what they did to you, right? That's between them and God. And so when you're answering for your side of the equation, can you honestly say, you know, I followed your design for marriage, I submitted to my husband, I respected my husband, I loved my husband. Has been well, I was sacrificial in my love, I, you know, displayed Christ's heart of servanthood. Or is it gonna be well, he did this, so then I did that, and you know, he's in the wrong though, and and I whatever, and he did me wrong, and like go go punish him, right? Do you really think that God cares? I mean, he does, he cares how we treat one another, of course. But when it comes to keeping your side of the street clean, that's on you. Um, and so the covenant design of marriage is both spouses answer to God, and that is like the single thing that transformed my marriage from basically a business partnership where sometimes we were good business partners, sometimes we were bad business partners, but we were still just business partners and friends sometimes, but like even that, like my lack of respect towards him because of the new age beliefs that I was like taking in. Um, you know, the the the friendship, the relationship side of thing was was kind of dwindling, and so like we were parents and we were business owners together. Um but it it kind of hollowed out everything else in our relationship, and like I said, like I just kept fighting and fighting because I knew how good our relationship could be. We I mean that man is an incredible man. We from the moment I met him, I knew we were meant to be together. Like, there is like serious, intense love there. Um, and so it was so frustrating when it felt like it was hollowed out and nothing I could do could fix it. And I was like, what? What the hell, right? What the hell? Literally, what the hell? Um, and I say that choice of words intentionally because that's what happens when you don't follow God's design for marriage, is you bring hell into your marriage. Um and so I began to seriously question whether the spiritual framework I was in actually aligned with God's design for marriage. And again, you know, there was a time where my relationship with God was kind of whatever, but then I did start to say, okay, like if there's a universe, then there's a creator of the universe, and I'm gonna go straight to the creator as opposed to like manifesting from the universe, right? So I was starting to like reconcile with the word God too, in spite of like my past with like walking away from religion and stuff. Um, but I began to realize that a spirituality centered on self-fulfillment was never gonna produce the kind of self-denial and humility that was needed to really fill up our our marriage and fill up like our cups with with one another and like really prosper. And it kind of made me wonder like maybe the forces behind New Age didn't actually want marriage to last. And um, somewhere in the Bible, don't ask me where, it says like what God has joined together, let no man separate. And it's it kind of felt like all these forces that that I was engaging in, I guess, like the again, like the forces behind New Age just started to feel really, really dark. And uh, I'm gonna do another video about how um how I came because I think a lot of people who go into the new age, like they s they you know, like I said, they walk away from everything and they're like, nope, that's all demonic, and blah blah blah. And and all the new age people are sitting here like, wait, what? What do you mean it's demonic? That makes no sense. Like, of course it's not demonic. I'm a light worker. That's what I used to say. Um, so I want to do one like specifically going through like different verses in the Bible that that make the point for this so that you guys can kind of understand where we're coming from with that. But that was really kind of the first like red flag for me when I saw the state of my marriage. I was like, man, maybe maybe it is dark, maybe it isn't as light as I thought it was. Maybe, maybe light work isn't really light work. And uh, so that's a topic for another time. But what I will say is when I did apply the biblical principles for marriage in my marriage, and originally I did that as like a a self development type thing, I was like, oh, look, maybe maybe the Bible's just a self development manual. Um, and obviously, like one thing led to another, and I realized that no, this actually is the truth. But um, anyway, that's all for now, and I'll talk to you in the next one.